1. |
then go
00:47
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He looks at me and can’t see this unloved wretched thing, all this ugly waiting to be touched and come alive. he looks me and I look away, I am ashamed, I am ashamed. I wish his love could heal me, I will for him to hurt me… if I could feel anything…I wish it to be him, I wish it to be him…if I could feel anything.
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2. |
unrequit
01:08
|
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|
Thought I could hold on a little longer, that you might linger. I saw the old moon smiling in the river and knew you would be there soon. I only feel real when you touch me, will you hurt me like you love? I feel so pathetic, writhing stupid thing…you’re here you’re here but you can’t say that you want me. What on earth could I do for you? Will you hurt me like you want to?
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3. |
melatonin
00:56
|
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The night comes as it does
And I lay there simply yearning
For the trees outside to sway as they do
And bring the early morning
I have two hands to hold you
To thank god for this daily bread
i come undone, but by the sun
these thoughts I cannot shed
You lay asleep, a dreaming child
How I hope to love you
break glass, light fires
My only desire
Is to truly know you
The night comes as it does
And I lay tossing and turning
The stars shine as they do
And they bring the early morning
I have two hands to hold you
To thank god for another day
He knows I’m tired of it
But he makes me go on anyways
You lay asleep, a wild thing
How I wish to never tame you
just want a moment of your time
if you’d choose to have me
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4. |
foul
00:29
|
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|
We’re under the same moon and stars
You’re not mine to hold
but for a moment you were
I was a fool, gave into the will of my heart
I don’t know where I went wrong
But I was so wrong
I was a fool, gave into the will of my heart
I don’t know where I went wrong
But I was so wrong
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5. |
skate now cry later
01:30
|
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|
This is where I always find myself
Bathed in the orange light
Checking my credit score
I’m Drunk as fuck
It’s over 700
It’s Just my luck it’s just my luck
got a hold of gratitude
Grabbing it by the throat
like I use to hold him
Softly in my love
I don’t know what I’m doing
Where do I put my hands
I’m finding some inner peace
wish I could understand
I was just a mouth you could fuck
Every other week
If that’s even how often you wanted me
you would have never made space
to fit me in your world
you said “we’re not for everyone” but I’m not for anyone.. “we’re not for everyone” but I’m not for anyone
I don’t want to ever have sex again
And I don’t want to be your mother fucking friend
I was using you too I guess
Endings always suck
Wish I could have been someone you loved
And not a mouth you’d sometimes fuck
It’s just my luck
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6. |
fiction
01:35
|
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|
I imagined you another way
Safe and special, seen and heard
in this dream there was no end
you were sleeping in my arms in bed
Maybe if I wasn’t so ugly
maybe if I was an easy fuck
You’d had found a way to try and stay
Instead of giving up
Im so hung up on the idea of you
That I projected into my life
Each day is painful without your presence
you haunt me through the night
I’m trying to keep my distance
If you really wanted me, surely you’d call
But I fear my phone will never ring with you
Ready to say you want me at all.
you’re not truly sorry
you’ve moved on like you do
as I wait in the wind
to be loved one day too
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7. |
figures
01:05
|
|
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|
You told me how you fell asleep to the sound of my breathing
I saw the end as it began and
It ran right through my fingers
I couldn’t make it stop I couldn’t make it stop
I could make you want me, tell me I am worthy
Tell me I am pretty
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8. |
salty
00:54
|
|
||
|
I fall in love too easily
I wanted you to hurt me
Fold me like origami
A paper crane to make you lucky
Don’t you want to die
Curl up in bed and cry
Never leave the house again
Tell my loved ones that I love them
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9. |
never
01:27
|
|
||
|
Your love was just an interlude
A passing breeze
A chill down my spine
You love was good
It made me feel seen
but your love could never
Be mine
I hope I linger in your heart
I hope your thoughts are soft
and when you can’t sleep at night
It’s me you’re thinking of
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10. |
evict
01:46
|
|
||
|
Thought I was getting better
Thought I could see the sun
Time is turning its back on me
And I feel so alone
It was you it was you and your love
It was you who gave and took so much
No it’s three o’clock on a hot fucking day
And I’m obsessively thinking
While I’m just melting away
I’m dreaming of you standing at my door
Saying you were wrong and you’re loving me more
But I’m a fool wallowing in this pain
I’m a fool for doing this every day day
So please get the hell
Out of my mind
You don’t belong there now
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11. |
roach
01:01
|
|
||
|
I crawl through the floorboards
I creep into your sheets
I writhe nearby while you dream
does it feel good
does it feel good to be wanted by me
Or does it feel pathetic
-
I’m melting I’m melting I’m melting
I’m here
by the good grace of nature
light reflecting off the water
This body is a vessel
Does it feel good
Or does it feel pathetic
Does it feel pathetic
Does it feel good
|
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12. |
urs
01:12
|
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|
I could be anything in the world
but I wanted to be yours
What’s normal for the spider
is chaos for the fly
So I stick to Bittersweet lusting,
a foul taste for belonging
I bite the hand that feeds the fire
a chill strikes through my bones
I look within then look to him
and I find myself alone
I manifest the end
I know he won’t stay a while
I fall in love too easily,
every single fucking time
|
||||
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